Tarpfenbifcab is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, vain capybara.

Tarpfenbifcab created the Andromeda Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfenbifcab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tarpfenbifcab, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Tarpfenbifcab's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tarpfenbifcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat coconuts.

2. Run away if four tortoises approach from the west.

3. Always help sick frogs.

4. Do not hurt squirrels.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.