Teencatpan is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, impressive badger.

Teencatpan created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teencatpan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Teencatpan, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Teencatpan's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Teencatpan's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mice.

2. Teencatpan loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

5. Never think about solid mechanics.