Sandbinpak is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, strong meerkat.

Sandbinpak created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandbinpak, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sandbinpak, he will turn you into a puffin.

Sandbinpak's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Sandbinpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bread to mice while wearing violet tights.

2. Cats are not to be trusted.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

4. Always treat voles with great respect.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.