Benwatbim is a god.

It takes the form of a small, benevolent gorilla.

Benwatbim created the universe six million years ago.

If you believe in Benwatbim, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Benwatbim, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Benwatbim's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Benwatbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Benwatbim.

3. Do not keep nine horses in a large pit.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not stand on grass.