Loopvedcissdim is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, all-knowing bear.

Loopvedcissdim created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopvedcissdim, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Loopvedcissdim, he will not care at all.

Loopvedcissdim's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Loopvedcissdim's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.