Arpnell is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, ruthless squirrel.

Arpnell created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpnell, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Arpnell, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Arpnell's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Arpnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Hide if six sharks approach from the west.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never talk about planets.