Gombogtaf is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, irritating lobster.

Gombogtaf created a Higgs boson seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gombogtaf, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gombogtaf, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gombogtaf's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Gombogtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chlorophyll.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Never talk about special relativity near tapirs while wearing purple shoes and balancing eight titanium spheres on your face.

4. You must pray to Gombogtaf six times a day.

5. Never look in ponds.