Lapmutkombuscepcencinmis is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, passionate crane.

Lapmutkombuscepcencinmis created the planet Jupiter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapmutkombuscepcencinmis, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lapmutkombuscepcencinmis, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Lapmutkombuscepcencinmis' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Lapmutkombuscepcencinmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Always help otters.