Mobzencap is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, stupid salamander.

Mobzencap created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mobzencap, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mobzencap, it will laugh at you.

Mobzencap's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Mobzencap's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of nebulae into wood.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

3. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

4. Run away from yellow voles, for they are unholy.

5. Do not kill tapirs.