Besspad is a god.

She takes the form of a small, uncaring whale.

Besspad created light two billion years ago.

If you believe in Besspad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Besspad, she will send you a sign.

Besspad's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Besspad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. You must pray to Besspad seven times a day.

5. Never feed coconuts to tapirs while wearing shorts.