Baphablarg is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, almighty goblin.

Baphablarg created Mount Everest five million years ago.

If you believe in Baphablarg, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Baphablarg, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Baphablarg's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Baphablarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Retreat if eight moths approach from the west.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.