Quimsaffit is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, duplicitous troll.

Quimsaffit created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimsaffit, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quimsaffit, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Quimsaffit's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Quimsaffit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always look after injured birds.

3. Always help pigs in need.

4. You must never eat wheat.

5. Never think about special relativity.