Vondimnigtap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, fussy rhinoceros.

Vondimnigtap created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vondimnigtap, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vondimnigtap, she will turn you into a duck.

Vondimnigtap's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Vondimnigtap's Holy Commandments

1. Vondimnigtap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never paint your chest cyan.

3. Never mention dogs.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.