Hinbisskik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, moody jaguar.

Hinbisskik created time and space nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hinbisskik, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hinbisskik, he will destroy your home solar system.

Hinbisskik's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Hinbisskik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Worship no other gods but Hinbisskik.

5. Never think about comets.