Kopgigcud is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, wise turtle.

Kopgigcud created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopgigcud, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kopgigcud, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kopgigcud's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Kopgigcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Never feed lots of lemons to cats while wearing pink dresses.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near hamsters while wearing yellow scarves and balancing seven platinum spheres on your face.

5. Never talk about dogs.