Tettigebbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, capable squirrel.

Tettigebbonk created an atom six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettigebbonk, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tettigebbonk, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tettigebbonk's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Tettigebbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick swans.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never talk about eagles.