Dobqueegfon Henponnull is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, witless seal.

Dobqueegfon Henponnull created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobqueegfon Henponnull, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dobqueegfon Henponnull, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dobqueegfon Henponnull's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Dobqueegfon Henponnull's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Retreat if seven cats approach from the west.

4. Never think about electromagnetism.

5. Do not stand on grass.