Armparkbif is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, sage cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Armparkbif created the Sunflower Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Armparkbif, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Armparkbif, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Armparkbif's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Armparkbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear purple clothing.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Armparkbif.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Armparkbif loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.