Gubqueegvan Ruttettidut Cummothun is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unthoughtful hyena.

Gubqueegvan Ruttettidut Cummothun created the Whirlpool Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubqueegvan Ruttettidut Cummothun, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gubqueegvan Ruttettidut Cummothun, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gubqueegvan Ruttettidut Cummothun's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gubqueegvan Ruttettidut Cummothun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Gubqueegvan Ruttettidut Cummothun loves swans, so they must be respected.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Gubqueegvan Ruttettidut Cummothun in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near porpoises while wearing magenta trousers and balancing six aluminium spheres on your legs.

5. You must pray to Gubqueegvan Ruttettidut Cummothun three times a day.