Gigbinwapbopmet Yarltarpdim is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless hyena.

Gigbinwapbopmet Yarltarpdim created silver nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gigbinwapbopmet Yarltarpdim, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gigbinwapbopmet Yarltarpdim, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gigbinwapbopmet Yarltarpdim's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Gigbinwapbopmet Yarltarpdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near ducks.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Erect nine silver sculptures of Gigbinwapbopmet Yarltarpdim on top of important buildings.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gigbinwapbopmet Yarltarpdim.