Cannibvag is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, boastful pig.

Cannibvag created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Cannibvag, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Cannibvag, she will turn you into a rat.

Cannibvag's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Cannibvag's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cannibvag.

3. Never mention foxes.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never pour water over plants.