Bignartettipidmitteenrawsin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, compassionate beaver.

Bignartettipidmitteenrawsin created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bignartettipidmitteenrawsin, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bignartettipidmitteenrawsin, he will not care.

Bignartettipidmitteenrawsin's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bignartettipidmitteenrawsin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dolphins.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bignartettipidmitteenrawsin.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.