Bastcissartfid is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, grumpy penguin.

Bastcissartfid created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastcissartfid, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bastcissartfid, she will jump up and down on your head.

Bastcissartfid's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Bastcissartfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Hide if six ants approach from the south.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always obey Bastcissartfid's priests.