Fumtargvanmipfagabbomapp is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, self-confident deer.

Fumtargvanmipfagabbomapp created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumtargvanmipfagabbomapp, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fumtargvanmipfagabbomapp, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Fumtargvanmipfagabbomapp's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fumtargvanmipfagabbomapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four horses in a large pit.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never talk about spacetime near geese while wearing turquoise shirts and balancing six silicon spheres on your back.

4. Do not take Fumtargvanmipfagabbomapp's name in vain.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.