Cuntigflis is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, omniscient lion.

Cuntigflis created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Cuntigflis, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cuntigflis, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cuntigflis' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cuntigflis' Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Cuntigflis loves eagles, so they must be respected.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.