Flig Witvagzak is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, flying wombat.

Flig Witvagzak created the Sun two million years ago.

If you believe in Flig Witvagzak, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flig Witvagzak, it will turn you into a dog.

Flig Witvagzak's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Flig Witvagzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

4. Never write about dark energy.

5. Do not shave your hands.