Quatlarppas is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, ruthless ferret.

Quatlarppas created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatlarppas, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quatlarppas, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Quatlarppas' most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Quatlarppas' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four nematodes approach from the north.

2. Do not hurt shrews.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. Do not make images of living things.