Japkimdan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, omnipotent grasshopper.

Japkimdan created carbon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japkimdan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Japkimdan, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Japkimdan's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Japkimdan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near bats while wearing orange coats.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Japkimdan.