Cissjoptadlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, quiet alligator.

Cissjoptadlarp created the world two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissjoptadlarp, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cissjoptadlarp, he will make you grow a tail.

Cissjoptadlarp's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Cissjoptadlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ultrasonics.

2. Feed all hungry mice.

3. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

4. Run away if nine mites approach from the north.

5. You must never eat figs.