Bifjamsisgablik is a god.
He takes the form of a very fat, self-confident
spider.
Bifjamsisgablik created matter eighteen thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Bifjamsisgablik, he will give you great power.
If you do not believe in
Bifjamsisgablik, he will curse you with boils.
Bifjamsisgablik's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.
Bifjamsisgablik's Holy Commandments1. You must pray to Bifjamsisgablik four times a day.
2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Bifjamsisgablik on top of all buildings.
3. Do not covet oxen.
4. Never wear coats.
5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.