Catkamvan is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, calm coyote.

Catkamvan created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Catkamvan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Catkamvan, he will come to you in dreams.

Catkamvan's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Catkamvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always help turtles.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Catkamvan.

5. Do not shave your back.