Metvidbem is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable finch.

Metvidbem created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Metvidbem, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Metvidbem, he will come to you in dreams.

Metvidbem's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Metvidbem's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Metvidbem.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Never go into gray rooms.

5. Never wear scarves.