Dusszankemfon is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, charitable lobster.

Dusszankemfon created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dusszankemfon, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dusszankemfon, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dusszankemfon's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Dusszankemfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat swans with great respect.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Dusszankemfon in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

5. Do not take Dusszankemfon's name in vain.