Hakspagdun is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, humane lizard.

Hakspagdun created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakspagdun, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hakspagdun, he will turn you into a plant.

Hakspagdun's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Hakspagdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never think about spacetime near nematodes while wearing black boots and balancing four titanium spheres on your legs.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Always help sick rats.