Mittarwad is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, self-confident donkey.

Mittarwad created the Tadpole Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Mittarwad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Mittarwad, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Mittarwad's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Mittarwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics.

2. Do not leap in public.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never pour water over plants.