Dissruttgov is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, unselfish jackal.

Dissruttgov created gold four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissruttgov, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dissruttgov, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dissruttgov's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Dissruttgov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Run away from gray tortoises, for they are unholy.

5. Never think about optics near dolphins while wearing blue coats and balancing three carbon spheres on your legs.