Dissawlikstanqueegrip is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tiresome walrus.

Dissawlikstanqueegrip created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissawlikstanqueegrip, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dissawlikstanqueegrip, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Dissawlikstanqueegrip's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Dissawlikstanqueegrip's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Hide from gray snails for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

5. Do not chop down trees.