Sidlitjop is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, dishonourable penguin.

Sidlitjop created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidlitjop, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sidlitjop, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Sidlitjop's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Sidlitjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near dogs while wearing green tights and balancing three zinc spheres on your feet.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. You must love Sidlitjop.