Hitgepkom is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, pitiless weasel.

Hitgepkom created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitgepkom, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hitgepkom, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hitgepkom's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Hitgepkom's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine dolphins approach from the east.

2. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Never feed lots of onions to capybaras while wearing orange shorts.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics.