Nillfitfod is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omniscient clam.

Nillfitfod created dark energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillfitfod, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nillfitfod, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Nillfitfod's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Nillfitfod's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Nillfitfod loves foxes, so they must be respected.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.