Bambarnmad is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, awe-inspiring dragon.

Bambarnmad created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bambarnmad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bambarnmad, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bambarnmad's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bambarnmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near hamsters while wearing yellow boots and balancing four titanium spheres on your feet.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Bambarnmad on top of all buildings.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Bambarnmad loves geese, so they must be honoured.