Dutrillomt Dibnurtdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking snail.

Dutrillomt Dibnurtdoss created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Dutrillomt Dibnurtdoss, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dutrillomt Dibnurtdoss, she will throw large rocks at you.

Dutrillomt Dibnurtdoss' most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Dutrillomt Dibnurtdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Dutrillomt Dibnurtdoss loves doves, so they must be honoured.

2. Dutrillomt Dibnurtdoss loves seals, so they must be respected.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never write about eukaryotes.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.