Fomomtragtipwabbensaf is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, emotional tapir.

Fomomtragtipwabbensaf created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomomtragtipwabbensaf, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fomomtragtipwabbensaf, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fomomtragtipwabbensaf's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Fomomtragtipwabbensaf's Holy Commandments

1. Fomomtragtipwabbensaf loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about gravity near tapirs while wearing cyan skirts.

4. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near porpoises while wearing orange scarves and balancing three lead spheres on your arms.