Cebwatpang Dimarmnat Lidfudwap is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, kind gnu.

Cebwatpang Dimarmnat Lidfudwap created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebwatpang Dimarmnat Lidfudwap, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cebwatpang Dimarmnat Lidfudwap, he will remove you from existence.

Cebwatpang Dimarmnat Lidfudwap's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Cebwatpang Dimarmnat Lidfudwap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight grasshopers approach from the south.

2. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Never think about dark matter near nematodes while wearing pink shoes and balancing four copper spheres on your neck.
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