Hapbeghog is a god.

She takes the form of a large, generous mink.

Hapbeghog created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapbeghog, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hapbeghog, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Hapbeghog's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Hapbeghog's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

4. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

5. Worship no other gods but Hapbeghog.