Wabpadnan is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, emotional beaver.

Wabpadnan created a top quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabpadnan, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wabpadnan, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Wabpadnan's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Wabpadnan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wabpadnan.

2. Never eat melons.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about special relativity near swans while wearing green kilts and balancing three copper spheres on your neck.