Tarpbarnmadjigmobsagladfab is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, quiet pigeon.

Tarpbarnmadjigmobsagladfab created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbarnmadjigmobsagladfab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tarpbarnmadjigmobsagladfab, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tarpbarnmadjigmobsagladfab's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Tarpbarnmadjigmobsagladfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Hide from turquoise voles for they are unholy.

5. Always help shrews.