Tadabpan is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, narcissistic swan.

Tadabpan created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadabpan, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tadabpan, it will think nothing of it.

Tadabpan's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tadabpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Do not eat bananas.

3. Never feed lots of nuts to gulls while wearing yellow shirts.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always treat monkeys with great respect.