Baffidbem is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud yak.

Baffidbem created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Baffidbem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Baffidbem, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Baffidbem's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Baffidbem's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Baffidbem.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not take Baffidbem's name in vain.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Do not wear mauve clothing.