Gannutxenbep is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, annoying centaur.

Gannutxenbep created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gannutxenbep, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gannutxenbep, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gannutxenbep's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Gannutxenbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Hide from black ants for they are unholy.

4. Always obey Gannutxenbep's priests.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.